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An alternative to traditional therapy.
Do you ever feel like the harder you try at something, the further away you get from it? I see this often in my therapy practice. Clients come in ready to "do the work," efforting and striving to become the person they imagine they should be—only to end up feeling frustrated and defeated.
Unfortunately, both therapy and the self-help industry often feed into this mindset. In therapy, you might be met with diagnoses that emphasize what’s “wrong” with you. In the self-help world, you’re encouraged to work endlessly, striving to become an ideal version of yourself that always seems just out of reach.
This is where Unbecoming You comes in. Becoming someone new is exhausting. Constantly fixing what’s “wrong” is exhausting. But feeling at home with yourself doesn’t have to be.
In a world that’s constantly pushing you to be different, better, and more optimized, Unbecoming You asks something entirely different: to unravel the layers of identity that were never really yours to begin with. It invites you to stop trying so hard and to slow down. It guides you back to your authentic self, helping you discover what it means to truly be yourself—without the endless effort.
What if the path to becoming who you are is found in unraveling everything you are not?
This isn’t a self-help book about striving—it’s an invitation to do less, stop trying so hard to become an idealized version of yourself, and realign who you really are inside.
The Process of Unbecoming invites readers into a compassionate and transformative journey of shedding the roles, beliefs, and survival strategies that once kept them safe but now keep them stuck. Blending therapeutic insight with thoughtful reflection, this book offers a map for returning to the Self that has always been quietly waiting beneath the noise.
Lacey K. Kelly, LCSW is a psychotherapist and yoga therapist who guides others in the deep work of reconnection with Self, others, and deeper meaning. She weaves together the clinical and the intuitive to support people in returning to the truth of who they are. The Process of Unbecoming is the heart of her work and the beginning of a larger movement to help people live from wholeness, not performance.
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Exclusive AccessWelcome! I'm glad you're here.
Hi, I'm Lacey...
I created Unbecoming You to help people get to the root of their dilemmas. As a therapist, I noticed one big trend in all of my clients and myself as well--we were all trying so hard. But why? Why are we all efforting so much? How did this come to be? After much introspection, I noticed that what helped my clients the most was untangling all the narratives that they had been taught in one way or another about who they were as people, and in doing so, connecting with a sense of home within themselves.
 I have gone through the same process over my life thus far and have found the less I try to be anything, the more I am able to just be myself. In this process, I have decided to untangle myself from the field of therapy and do something new. This process is not about diagnoses or figuring out what's wrong with you--it's about unraveling who you are not to discover who you are. It's trippy. It's meta. Enjoy the ride.Â
and yes, those are all of my dogs.
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